Friday, March 1, 2013

Satisfied in You - Psalm 42

For several months, this Sing Team album has been on repeat in our home. Anytime that I want to sing at the top of my lungs, and PRAISE Jesus, I turn this album on. Oh! Great is Our God! and God has been speaking sweetly to me through these songs that are full of His word. Eleanor loves singing and dancing to it too :)

Recently, Satisfied in You (based on Psalm 42), has ministered directly to my heart. 

/let my signs give way to songs that sing of your faithfulness/
/let my pain reveal your glory as my only real rest/
/let my losses show me all I truly have is you/

God has been growing and teaching our family a lot during the past months. Through our losses he has revealed that all we truly have is Him. 

In early November we found out we were expecting baby #2! We were ecstatic and shared with our family immediately. We planned to announce baby #2 with this cute family photo (one of my favorites, from our sweet friend Siraya!) 

The day before Thanksgiving I started having some light bleeding (sorry for tmi!). Our midwife instructed us to go to the ER. I was hoping that it was nothing, and we were sure that an Urgent care would be just as effective (with an ultrasound machine) and less expensive.

We got to the Urgent Care and were seen almost immediately. Unfortunately, there was only one doctor in, and he was THE most awkward man ever. Dwight. Just as awkward or even more so than Dwight from the Office. Not exactly the most comforting doctor haha. He wasn't very helpful but basically said it could be a miscarriage, nothing, or an ectopic pregnancy. Bah! He referred us to an ultrasound office but there were no available appointments until Monday due to the holiday. 

We picked up Eleanor from the Sager's house (thanks for watching her!) and and decided to head home and rest. As soon as we got home I had more bleeding and decided to call the midwife again. She said to head to the ER immediately. Our sweet friends came by and took a second shift in watching Eleanor (which ended up being 10ish hours long!). We drove to the ER, sat in the waiting room and were admitted within thirty minutes. 

After basic urine and blood testing, and 2 1/2 hours of ultra-sounding, and more waiting in a room (shared with a crazy old woman) we were given news that we had an ectopic (tubular) pregnancy.We were both ready and expecting the worse...but it was hard to hear. I had to have a chemotherapy drug to remove the pregnancy and to make sure my tube didn't burst. I am so thankful that we went to the ER when we did. I wasn't experiencing any of the normal pain or symptoms from an ectopic pregnancy, and I probably would have just assumed we miscarried. 

Did I mention it was the day before Thanksgiving? And that we were MOVING the day after? Bah! It was a crazy/busy season. Obviously you can tell, as it's been 4 months since I last blogged!

I apologize now, if this is the first you're hearing about this. It's been a challenging season and I'm just now able to write out what happened and how we're doing.

God has been so gracious to us. He really is our only rest and all we truly have. We mourn the loss of our child, but we set our hope in Christ.
Romans 5: 3-5
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Thank you Jesus for your deep love for us! :) We were super encouraged and blessed by our community, family, and friends who surrounded us, made meals for us, cried with us, and prayed with us (over and over again!)

Thanks for reading such a long post! Now, I feel like I've got you up to speed ;) and I can update the blog now and again. I am excited to share etsy shop/sewing updates and more news. Obviously an Eleanor update is in order too :)

much love,
Meg

4 comments:

  1. Megan, so sorry for your loss. I have walked through miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies with a few friends and it breaks my heart. So glad you have such a blessed outlook and faith. But hang in there, I am sure it will take time for everything (heart, body, mind) to heal. I will be praying for you!!

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    1. Thanks so much Heather! I appreciated your prayers :)

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  2. Wow, Ryan and Megan... I cannot imagine the pain you must feel in this loss. I am so sorry. But thank you for sharing so openly about it. What a powerful witness to God's faithfulness as our Comforter through pain and trials! And it is an encouragement to me personally to enjoy well the blessings God has given.

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    1. Thank you Carbs! We love you guys!

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